Full circle

07/2019 - Question

I think one of my biggest fears is being too much for someone, like if they really knew me. The me that constantly overtones and worries about small things that don’t matter that much. I get sad sometimes and can’t get out of bed. I am super sensitive and cry a lot. I always seem to have a problem that needs fixing. I worry that if I let them see the whole of me, I’d be too much, too intense.

01/ 2023 - Response

You mean like the Malteaser which has rolled out the packet, only to resurface when you thought they were all gone?

Like rain on a hot summer's day? Like someone who messages thoughts rather than paragraphs, and every thought.

Like the radio blasting out the Glastonbury belters on a car journey with friends? Like glitter tinsel in her hair? Watching a sunset in a different country, always the same sun, just a different view and shade. Too much like floaty skirts and brightly coloured dresses?

Is she a bit much because she runs a shopping trolley home from the middle of town whilst in trainers, shorts and headphones? Or because she sees a space hopper and takes it home because who doesn’t like a space hopper? She loves indie shops because they’re just fun, is that okay? Lidl popcorn fresh from the packet, cheap chocolate when you need a hit. Too much as in loves pastel colours, and scribbles incessantly in random swirls and patterns to no avail. Is she too much because she wears clothes from the charity shop? Or because she laughs like a hyena, or maybe it’s the sarcasm which rolls off her tongue. Is she too much because she likes running in soggy trainers and puddles and in all weathers? Or because she listens to the same song on repeat because it’s so good. Or perhaps she wears headphones all the time when she works as she loves music? Maybe she likes window shopping rather than shopping shopping and has the attention span of a small child? Is that too much? Good, because I didn’t think so either.